But instead of becoming that anxiety and reacting to all the fearful thoughts, I took a moment to observe what was really going on in my head. I was sitting in the car about to go into the cinema and watch a film, when this wave of anxiety came over me. And this realisation can set you free of fear. Facing your fearful feelings brings them to an end, because if you proceed whilst being afraid, you'll see that all that has been scaring you is your apprehension of fear: the anticipation of negative thoughts or reactions. This is what is suggested in a 'Fearless Living' meditation I recently listened to. What if I told you that you are not afraid of that thing or person, but of your own thoughts and reactions in relation to that thing or person? That you are merely afraid of your own thoughts. Think of something that instills fear in you. So, whilst you are entitled to feel sad when you receive rejection, feel angry when someone lets you down, or fearful when trying something new, if you're finding yourself overwhelmed by unhelpful, negative thoughts, or fettered by fear, the following may offer a helpful new way of looking at things. But this negative bias can be counteracted. In 2020, however, fear and negativity is more often a self-limiting reaction that no longer serves us. Looking at things from an evolutionary perspective can explain why our brains are wired to favour negative emotions and be particularly vulnerable to fear as focusing on the worse case scenario was a survival mechanism that protected our ancestors from danger and threat. What if I told you you are not afraid of that thing or person, but of your own thoughts and reactions in relation to that thing or person? It has been demonstrated that, unfortunately, it comes naturally (unconsciously even) to our minds to think negatively thinking positively, on the other hand, requires a conscious effort. It doesn't have to be this way, writes Abi Crossland-Otter.īefore I begin, I would like to emphasise that this article is not intended to suggest that any of our thoughts, feelings, emotions or reactions aren't valid. People who have lived with anxiety for long periods can become more anxious about their own responses to what they find triggering than the triggers themselves: anxious about anxiety.
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